When We Were Their Age

There is something wrong if the younger generation doesn't tick off the older generations. It is the way we humans work. It is developmental. Young people find ways to shock and irritate us because they are gaining confidence and testing boundaries.

Developmental human studies aside, it is also fun to poke a finger in your elders' collective eye...who among us oldsters didn't enjoy the same goal in our youth?

I think of this as I avoid the teeth-grating sound of rap. It is an excellent example of irritating older people. I understand and accept rap for what it is, but I don't like it, and I have an irreverent, mischievous urge to employ what older generations have done for a long time: I will bounce the irritation back by imitating the youths.

Don't you remember plump Aunt Irma, in her square-dancing costume, putting her big heart and small singing skill into, 'Norwegian Wood'? She was sure she had a youthful, cool factor.

How about stinky Uncle Ernie doing the Twist, or the Jerk, or trying to channel Johnny Mathis singing, 'Chances Are', as he tried to impress the kids?

Made your skin crawl, didn't they?

Well, now it is your turn. Have your mate make appropriate rhythmic mouth noises as you artlessly deliver the following rap-like lines:

         I don't like rap.
         It sounds like crap.
         You don't like that?
         Then shove a rat
         Behind your back...
         Hide your butt crack.
         What you think about that?
         Ooo-wah,
         Ooo-wah,
         Ooo-wah,
         Ooo!!

If the youngsters have matured a bit, they'll laugh and share a beer with you. If they are still as immature as we were at their age, they'll scowl and skulk away. Cool.